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The Azad Medicos' Association 1996-97: Unity in Perversity

- The Motley Crew
from Spandan 1997

Shikhar Soni - President

This 'model' leader made it into the union when the girls realized that voting for somebody else would be quite unfashionable. Once elected, he promptly disappeared from the scene, and the vice-president was put touse for the first time in AMA history.

His sole achievement - getting married and making sure the whole college knows about it.

Guess he opted for this no-hassle post to tell people that he still exists. Though he wasn’t too successful, some have fond memories of his erstwhile Rock Star lifestyle. For those who want to know he did deliver two momentous speeches as the stand-in President.

There’s nothing much more we can say now that...

He showed signs of schizophrenia during his reign, signing his name half in Hindi and half in English, and suggesting calling Daler Mehndi for the Rock Show. To his credit, he fought long and fruitless battles in the hope for VOPE. Obviously wanting to start with a clean slate, the G. Sec. shaved his head halfway through his tenure except that later the clean slate began to resemble a punk-rocking porcupine.

Premanshu remains the only G. Sec. about whom it can truly be said - he came, he saw, he tonsured.

Ever since Synapse he has been on the prowl for unsuspecting victims towhom he outlines how organizing His Festival was the greatest achievement since the discovery of the Wheel. For the Cul. Sec. Time is Money - A brand new Supremo arrived even before we got over our post-Synaptic hangovers. The ex-Head Boy of Happy School has developed the enviable ability to laugh in the face of danger.

Examiner: What treatment will you give to a patient with miliary tuberculosis and AIDS, an artificial kidney and early signs of CJD?
Vinay: Immediate prefrontal lobotomy, Sir, so he won’t feel a thing! - HaHaHaHa... Ha?

This literate Brontosaurus tried hard to infuse literary interest among MAMCites most of whom are still in the Paleozoic era as far as their literary abilities are concerned. Apart from a penchant for sending people on wild goose chases, he is notorious for forcing people to participate in his events.

Considering that his events did not have any financial problems, it seems that either he has enough oil wells in Kuwait or that he used Caveman tactics with the G. Sec. & Cul. Sec.

The Nick Hill nom-de-plume and the Star Trek cultism doesn’t fool us one bit; he epitomizes the grumpy Indian middle class male who beats his spouse (J.Ed. will verify) To be fair we can’t deny him the success of his babies - TNT and the Wall. His gains during his tenure - A sleek black Esteem LX, a few pounds of visible lard, some brand new Go-Yell style clichés and a dubious Valentine’s Day message for him in Iris.

Visit Virtual Nikhil at http://www.talldark&ugh.com!

Filling this post as the only Hindi literate person in 4th year (A recent survey showed that 98.66% of MAMCites have only a limited vocabulary of Hindi words none of which can be found in any respectable dictionary) her energies were entirely taken up in defending herself from the Editor’s brickbats. The Crowning Glory of her term in office was the publication of a one-page ÁÃuk. All-in-all, the she did a good job with the Wall.

Watch out for her poems in this issue, they are the ones that start with the words : Ê ¯ny...

His efforts in bringing a reading room facility to OBH were a boon to all sleep starved hostellers, who now don’t need to make a beeline for the library for an air-conditioned afternoon nap. For those who visit the library for reasons other than sleeping and studying, he made special provisions in OBH such as all night VOPE on Hostel Nite. And with the advent of the culinary delights of the NBH canteen, the hostel Sec can truly be said to have satisfied all three of man’s basic needs.

On the other hand, he didn’t do anything for the basic needs of women and NBH-ites...

One look at our Sports Sec. gives you a good idea of what sport means in MAMC. The man with looks like a piece of sports equipment did not get due acknowledgment from the People in Authority. He showed his mettle in sorting out internal conflicts in the cricket team.

One has to give this Tiny Titan his due for conducting Arena with aplomb.

Not one to be taken lightly, the Cine Sec. is feared by Ed. Board members for his terrible wrath when lampooned in print. After fighting the most well organized and successful campaign in the elections, he organised the best film festival ever seen in Synapse ’97. Even his worst detractors concede that he actually showed films with not just Sound but also - thanks to modern technology - Visuals! Ed. Boardites are sure that the headaches we got after his screenings were due to studying too much the previous night.

Well, enough praise. He actually showed a lot of films, some of them watchable.

This most earnest and conscientious member of the Union probably thought that Girls’'Rep. stands for Girls' Reputation. In keeping with that she tried very hard to do some concrete work and take on serious responsibilities, for instance - compering Antakshari competitions.

We think the post is useless and should be scrapped but Ruchi has gained many admirers during her tenure - who appreciate her sincere efforts and total commitment to the post, of course!

The li'l ol' F.Arts Sec worked oh-so-hard for Synapse '97 - only to have her masterpiece turn it's back on her when ruffled by a light draft. Operating on a shoestring budget from scraps thrown by the Cul. Sec., she proved that a lot can be had from little.

But since everybody keeps looking down on her, we think it’s fair that we stop here. (hey! give the kid a chance, yaar!)

After winning the most hard fought and least important election of the Union the J. Sec. has spent his tenure drinking milk, working out, dancing and raiding hapless KFC outlets. Best known for his psychedelic zebra footwear, he has used his influence to get into the class teams for football, volleyball and pinocytosis.

For those confused about the function of this post, the J. Sec.'s traditional duty is to act as a bouncer in Union meetings. Remember last year’s J.Sec.?

Any profile of the Union is incomplete without mention of the twelfth man. Why did the chicken cross the road? What was the chicken’s name? What happened to five pairs of Wildfoot shoes? For pointwise answers and more such questions, contact the Manch president and ultimate sex-symbol of the futchis.

Not content with organising professional plays and issuing public apologies in Iris - neta style, this Mªkesckt has a finger in every campus pie.

Mr. Hospitality, the other guest appearance in this column, now has his own band of merry futchas to rival the Cul. Sec. During Synapse his major contribution was pumping it up at Fireball while visiting teams came and left in disgust. To be fair he did not have much help, but then who wants to spend Synapse doing ̨Ұ¯glkc and carrying beddings around campus.

Oh yes, and who can forget his 'misconduct' with the Hardonians !